Those Seven Little Words

by Kimberly Rudd

It’s been said that married couples spend as few as seven minutes a day communicating. In the hustlebustle of daily living – with work and children and “important” TV shows to watch – apparently husbands and wives don’t have time to say very much to each other.

So, how we spend those precious seven minutes talking has to really matter.

Many years ago, I met a man named Jim, who with his wife became friends to my husband and me. He and his wife had been married many years – much longer than the 10 years my husband and I had become proud of achieving at that time. So I suppose to Jim that we looked like a young couple needing advice to make it through the peaks and valleys of marriage. I guess he felt obliged to share the secret of the seven little words that would secure a man’s place in his woman’s heart. These seven little words, you see, could turn a mundane seven minutes of daily spousal communication into a spectacular seven minutes.

The words? Here they are fellas, courtesy of my friend Jim: “You look great! Have you lost weight?”

Oh to be sure, if you say these words with the same enthusiasm that you would tell your wife that the bathroom is out of toilet paper, then you’ll get no magic moment. But if you reach out to her, smile brightly, and give her a sly up-and-down glance before speaking, she’s sure to respond with a glow. But not at first.

First, she’ll say, “Oh stop!” or “What? Are you kidding?” or “I wish I were losing weight” or even “What are you trying to say to me?” Then her curiosity will get the best of her. She’ll wonder, “do I really look great? Am I really losing weight?” Because nearly every woman IS trying to lose weight on any given day, you know. That’s when the glow comes – a warm feeling that you’re paying attention to her, and perhaps even admiring something about her.

If you’re not married, fear not: These seven little words work just as well on friends, mothers and sisters. Be careful with female co-workers, though; you wouldn’t want to be accused of any monkey business on the job.

Women who are good friends to other women know the power of these seven little words. There’s no better way to brighten a girlfriend’s day than to accuse her of looking great and losing weight. Just hang around a women’s gym for a couple of hours! You’ll hear these seven little words at least once, followed by a lot of denial (“Me, no, girlfriend, not me…”) and then acceptance (“Well, I have been trying”) and finally mutual admiration (“You look like you’re losing weight, too”).

So, when you’re not in the mood for three little words like “I love you,” try Jim’s seven little words and see what happens for you.

Kimberley Rudd is a certified circuit training and weight management professional, a writer and the owner of the Curves fitness and wellness center in Blue Island. She’s been married 17 years, the last seven of which have been punctuated by seven little words almost frequently enough.